Everything I know, I learned from playing Monopoly.
Jun 13th, 2007 by Scotty
Monopoly is easily my all-time favorite board game (well, pre-8 years old, it was probably more like Hungry Hungry Hippos). It’s evil, it’s caniving, it’s everything wholesome family fun should be. It often brings out the worst in people. There’s no friends in Monopoly…you are out to screw everyone else. Period. There’s several life lessons that can be taken from this philosophy.
- You have to spend money to make money.
The oldest strategy in the book. You get a tendancy to be a tightwad with your money, thinking “I might land on Tennessee Avenue with 3 hotels on it next roll, I can’t spend my money on houses.” This is dumb…this is not how you win Monopoly. You won’t make more money unless you spend it on houses and people land on them. You can only live off your GO salary for so long. Same is true with businesses. You gotta take risks, you gotta spend some dough on marketing to really get your name out there. If you don’t spend the money you have, how are people gonna know about you? I played the freelance gig way too conservatively…I would have never gotten very far. - Don’t roll doubles three times or you go to jail.
Taken literally…means nothing. But think about it…if you just keep taking and taking and not letting others play the game of life…again, you’re not gonna get very far. Everyone’s luck runs out sometimes..and good ol’ Mr. Moneybags teaches us that it IS possible to be too lucky. - Stay out of jail.
Pretty self-explanatory. Jail sucks…and in real life, it’s a lot hard to find a get out of jail free card. - Bending the rules doesn’t help anyone.
Are you ever playing really really well until someone lands on Free Parking, and they get to collect all the tax money? Sucks doesn’t it. Well then don’t play like that, it’s not fair to anyone. You played the game well, you should get the pleasure of a whooping. Just don’t be a sore winner about it. - Anyone can win 2nd prize in the beauty contest.
Anyone. - Income tax sucks ass.
There’s nothing like looking forward to your paycheck only to realize that most of it is gone. Just like there’s nothing like looking forward to giving up your $200 GO salary to income tax. Damn the man! - The best things in life are free.
And toward the end of the game when half the board is covered in hotels, the best thing in life is landing on Free Parking for a breather. It’s the same feeling you get when you find a spot on the street in downtown Denver on a Sunday… the day when, yes, parking is free. - No one wants to be the old boot.
Be nice to people…that’s the lesson there. Sometimes you gotta give up the racecar (though I never give up the Scotty Dog…for personal reasons). - Just when you think you’re money-in-the-bank, things can go horribly wrong.
Ever get in the middle of a royal ass-whooping with renovated properties everywhere, only to get the “Make General Repairs” card on a Chance and go bankrupt yourself? Shit happens…so don’t be cocky. (That’s a lesson for you, Wickberg). - You don’t love your family as much as you think you do.
There’s nothing like a game of Monopoly to bring out your true hatred of each other. It’s not unlikely to go full-contact with Monopoly where I come from…especially when my brother’s involved. In fact, it’s probably better if you just exclude Monopoly from family game night. Go play some Scrabble and bicker over whether or not “vaginalize” is a legal word.
Anymore?
Yeah. My family’s that mean when it comes to Uno. I’d be afraid to whip out the Monopoly board.
I would add that I learned and saw demonstrated that “power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
In other words, watch the people with the power of doling out the cash. Check the change counted back to you and watch the banker’s stack of hundreds (the five hundreds are too obvious).
In the real world, it is similar. It is sad, but the true optimist is often taken for the fool. Everyone is out there to make a dime and the banks are the most corrupt of the moneymakers. Watch your fees, watch your receipts (in case the sweetheart who took your order changes your 3 to an 8 ) and watch your wallet.
The biggest issue with Monopoly is when you get some fantastic players together. The game lasts forever. It is much easier to hook up the 360 (or Wii in your case) and get the virtual pummeling off to a quick start.